“I just started crying and I don’t know why.”
“I feel so alone and I wish I had more confidence.”
“Mother’s day is coming up, and its my first one without her.”
“I didn’t have breakfast this morning because my mom woke up late and I had to help get the other kids ready for school.”
“I’m not worth your time or anybody’s time.”
“I just wish the pain would stop.”
“I feel so alone and I wish I had more confidence.”
“Mother’s day is coming up, and its my first one without her.”
“I didn’t have breakfast this morning because my mom woke up late and I had to help get the other kids ready for school.”
“I’m not worth your time or anybody’s time.”
“I just wish the pain would stop.”
This was my day.
These were the words I heard.
Students came in one after another.
And one after another I took on their pain and poured out what I could.
I wish I could have done more and knowing that I couldn’t, I simply prayed that what God guided me to do in the moment, would be enough.
But today, I walked away from school feeling as though my body was drained and my heart was in pain. Much like this:
These were the words I heard.
Students came in one after another.
And one after another I took on their pain and poured out what I could.
I wish I could have done more and knowing that I couldn’t, I simply prayed that what God guided me to do in the moment, would be enough.
But today, I walked away from school feeling as though my body was drained and my heart was in pain. Much like this:
My strength has drained away like water, and all my bones are out of joint. My heart melts like wax; my strength has dried up like sun baked clay…” ~ Psalms 22:14-15
I felt this way not because of my own struggles, but because of their struggles. These struggles create burdens of pain and suffering. Burdens that all of them try to keep hidden. Burdens that they could no longer carry on their own. And yet today, the mask came off and tears rolled down…I can still see each tear-filled face so vividly.
So then of course, as I was unwinding doing my devotion, God reminds me about the other side of suffering. (Every. Single. Time…. He knows exactly what to show me.)
The book of Matthew describes Christ crucifixion and everything leading up to it. This is compared to the words of David stated above, from the book of Psalms.
David suffered and Jesus suffered.
And yet it’s not all about the suffering… its about what happened afterwards.
David recalled how God had helped him before and believed God would never walk away from him. He says,
Yes, I will stand and praise you before all the people… their hearts shall rejoice with everlasting joy.
~ Psalms 22:25-26
And we all know how Jesus’ story ends. It ends in victory! He goes through an a great deal of suffering, and...
...ENDS OUT ON TOP!
God’s eloquent (yet simple) reminder to me was, that God will not abandon these kids in their struggles and that each of these kids will someday experience victory.
Selfishly, one day I’d love to hear them say this:
“I have conquered my anxiety.”
“I am confident and believe in myself.”
“I miss my mom and I’m grateful for the blessing.”
“I’ve learned how to take care of my own family.”
“I am worthy and I am loved.”
“I accept the past and I’m looking forward to finding joy in new things.”
The truth is I probably will not. And that is ok. I will hold on to faith knowing that God’s promises are true and that victory is for all who believe!