He is:
Tall
Big for a 7th grader
Looks like a linebacker
Gentle
Kind
Angry
& Hurting
He and I have had many talks about many different things during the last year and half.
We talk about everything from family, to sports, to behavior, favorite classes, teachers that frustrate him and so much more.
Then one day he says this...
"Ms. Ratas, I've been meaning to ask you about your sister. The one who passed away a while ago?"
My response...
"Uh sure... what would you like to know?"
I was surprised at first. He is not the most profound or reflective 7th grader. And though we talk often, we don't tend to go very deep.
His world is safer when he doesn't let people in.
So I simply
... listen to him.
... support him.
... and remind him that he is good.
But that day, he felt safe.
And that day I was reminded of God's purpose.
{ Furthermore, because we are united with Christ, we have received an inheritance from God, for he chose us in advance, and he makes everything work out according to his plan. }
~ Ephesians 1:11 ~
God chose me to be his counselor - Thank you Jesus - so I could share my experiences with him and to help him understand and heal from his.
How selfish I was thinking that
my life was for me.
The death of my sister was not for me.
It was to help this boy deal with the death of his brother.
The death of my sister was not for me.
It was for me to be a witness to this boy so he could renew his faith in God.
------------------------------
Towards the end of our conversation I asked how he knew about my sister (cause my old brain didn't remember talking to him about it) and he said, "Ms. Ratas, I remembered it from when you came into our class last year and you told us about you and your family."
I was blown away.
I shared that with the classes 2 months before his brother died. He remembered that and kept it with him until God decided to help him break down his walls.
My life is not for me.
It's for others.
It's for God.